literature

One Last Time

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Literature Text

There once was a boy that fell in love with a girl. One day, he gathered enough courage to ask her out, and she agreed. After going out on two dates, they were happy to say that they were in a relationship together.

Ever since then, they did almost everything together. They put their brains together to help each other in their studies, they ate lunch together, they went on walks together, just about everything in a normal day they did together. The only thing they didn't do together was agree on a favorite color. The boy liked blue and the girl liked yellow. Despite that, the boy was very in love with his girlfriend, and the girl was very in love with her boyfriend.

However, the following year, the boy and the girl chose different classes to take and could no longer adequately study together. It turns out that the boy's classes required a lot more study time, and the girl's classes were much easier than she thought and thus didn't need to study as much. Now that she had a lot more time, she constantly went into the boy's apartment to spend time with him.

But the boy needed to study. Many of the things on the pages of his textbook he could not understand, no matter how many times he read it. Every day, the boy would let her sit on his lap as he studied, and she would cuddle with him to try to help him relax. The boy liked it very much, and it did help him relax. Slowly but surely, he began to start understanding concepts.

But the girl started to feel neglected. She rarely got any "alone" time to spend with the boy and they rarely went out anywhere. She started to go to the boy's apartment less and spent more time out with her friends. The boy asked why she came by so little and she lied that she didn't want to bother him studying.

On his midterm exam, the boy scored the second highest in his class and he was very excited. He decided to call the girl to tell her, but she didn't pick up. That was strange; she always picked up. He decided to go out and buy a bracelet with a small yellow topaz for the girl as thanks for her support. That night, she called back.

"Hey, guess what!" asked the boy. "I scored the second high-"

"I'm sorry…"

"What? What's wrong?"

"I can't… I don't want to be with you anymore."

"Wait what? Why? Did I do something-"

"It's not something you did; it's the things you didn't do. I'm sorry, but I've found someone who can dig through his busy schedule and at least find a couple minutes to spend with me. I'm sorry."

And she hung up. The boy stood there, dumbfounded. His cell phone fell on the floor and along with it his knees. He dragged himself to his bed and cried himself to sleep.

*                                       *                                      *

Four months had passed and the boy was just about over her. They haven't talked since that night. Since then, he was able to not only become the top of his class, but even to surpass his professor and correct his professor during class.

One Saturday, he got a phone call. He looked at the front screen of his cell phone and the number looked very familiar. He picked up. It was the girl.

"Hey, you busy? Do you mind meeting me at the coffee shop near your apartment? I… I want to talk," she said in a very mellow voice.

"Sure, I guess," he answered coldly and hung up.

He put his shoes on and glanced at his shelf and saw the bracelet with the yellow topaz. How long has it been sitting there? For four long months, he didn't notice it sitting on his shelf, and it seemed as though it was the only thing there that didn't collect dust. He grabbed it and wiped off what little dust was on the clear box and shoved it in his pocket. He didn't want to see it anymore.

The boy arrived at the coffee shop and saw the girl. She looked very tired. Her eyes seemed as though she's been crying for a few hours. He sat down, and the girl smiled. The girl tried to chat, but the boy couldn't hold a conversation. Old feelings started to resurface, and his chest began to hurt.

He couldn't take it anymore, and he apologized and left. The girl constantly asked him to wait, but he ignored her. He walked to the crosswalk, but the girl was able to catch up and grabbed his hand.

"I broke it off with him!"

The boy froze.

"He couldn't… he didn't treat me the way you did. Something… something only you had was missing."

They stood there, speechless, for what seemed like hours. The boy pulled out the bracelet and told her about it and gave it to the girl. The girl was very surprised. All she could squeak out was "thank you". She hugged him and buried her face in his chest.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Try it on," he interrupted her.

The girl began to open the box and as she did, the wind picked up and she dropped the box. It rolled under a van that was parked by the street, and kept rolling. The boy assumed it was going to roll out the other side, and he dashed into the street to try to retrieve it. He saw the box and threw his hand out to try to reach for it.

As he did, a car came around the intersection and because of the van, couldn't see the boy and hit him in his lower back. The boy flew only a few feet, but just far enough for another car that was going the other way to hit him too, in the head. The girl screamed and ran over to him.

The boy laid there, breathing heavily in pain. The girl fell to her knees and started to cry and called the boy's name.

"Don't worry," the boy coughed out. "I'm… fine."

The sound of ambulances rang out in the distance.

"I feel tired, so I'm going to take a nap, ok?" said the boy.

The girl bit her lips, wiped away her tears, and nodded. "Everything's going to be ok," she whispered to him. "Help is on its way."

"When I wake up from my nap, please… tell me you love me. I've forgotten what it sounds like coming from you."

The girl bit her lips and nodded. She dug her face in the boy's chest and said something, but the boy could not clearly hear what she said. The boy smiled and put his head down.

And his last breath escaped his grasp.
I was working on my Calculus homework and all of a sudden, I had a random idea for a short story! So I decided to completely drop my homework and started typing it out.
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I'm such a horrible student, right? So anyway, this is what the result is.
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My friend, :iconmagicalnightsky:, did a bit of editing, and I spent a minuscule amount of time editing, because my really close friend, :iconmik3andik3xd:, decided to have some "bro-talk" with me and KEPT ME UP ALMOST ALL NIGHT! But he's a cool guy, so I'm not complaining.
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SO ANYWAY, what I'm trying to say is, please excuse any grammatical errors or anything, because not a lot of editing went into it. Please, thank you, and sorry :]
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SPOILER ALERT, FEEDBACK QUESTION: I am wondering how obvious the foreshadowing in my short story is. To my understanding, one of the things a yellow topaz symbolizes is "protection against untimely death", but I don't think many people know about that. How would you suggest that I foreshadow the boy's death, if it wasn't obvious? Please note that I don't want anything really obvious.
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EDIT: I've been re-reading it lately and have been fixing up some minor grammar errors. I'm not sure if you guys are getting notifications about the text being changed, but if you are, I apologize.
© 2011 - 2024 bmwanz
Comments13
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SunnyBlueDay's avatar
Hello there, nice piece you have here :D

I like the flow- it is nice and simple, in a good way. As far as foreshadowing the boy's death, I think it is good the way it is. I personally did not pick up on it, but I think the point of symbolism is not to smack you in the face with what it means, let the reader figure it out. You can clue that that the bracelet is symbolic but hinting at it's importance a bit more, but I wouldn't change it.

I had thought while reading that the bracelet was significant because it was a reminder of how he used to feel and his heartbreak, and perhaps regret. I thought it was yellow only because that was her favorite color.

Overall, a sweet little piece- the deeper symbolism mixes nicely with the more simple style of writing I think. Nice job!